Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Duck and cover
Phew, I haven’t stopped since I returned from our lovely trip (hmm, was I ever away? It feels like a million years ago already!)
Yup, the subs life – many masters! Work, business, kids, parents visiting, house and finally searching for a new place for Fian and I to move in together!!!!! YAY!!! But, this little sub is getting very tired, quite run down and would really appreciate it if whoever put the vice around my head and locked it down to cause a permenant headache would please please please remove it. *deep breath KD, deep breath*
Regular blogs will resume by the 5 June – promise, promise, promise.
Yup, the subs life – many masters! Work, business, kids, parents visiting, house and finally searching for a new place for Fian and I to move in together!!!!! YAY!!! But, this little sub is getting very tired, quite run down and would really appreciate it if whoever put the vice around my head and locked it down to cause a permenant headache would please please please remove it. *deep breath KD, deep breath*
Regular blogs will resume by the 5 June – promise, promise, promise.
Thursday, May 18, 2006
It's time to leave.....
We've had the most fabulous time with the beautiful Elle - but now it is time to go. (After we meet Dragon, Lessa and Clare.)THANK YOU ELLE - we will miss you so much.
Fian and KD
*hugs, kisses * and noisy nose-blows as we drive off.
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
Wrapped in love
Is the character of a country defined by it's physical features or by the people who live there? If I was particularly philosophical I would probably also ponder whether the people of a country are in some way defined or shaped by the physical characteristics of the area in which they live.
We have now travelled from Birmingham, through the gloriously picturesque English countryside in Whiltshire, into Salisbury to visit megalithic monuments and incredible sites of historic significance, down to Somerset to immerse ourselves in an area where the inner unseen world seems to cross over into our physical reality. With all of our experiences both physical and spiritual and the amazing sights that we have seen, what is it that we are talking about the most? The people we have met and the connections we have made.
First in Birmingham with a really lovely couple who indulged Fian in his desire to go narrow boating by showing us through their boat on the canal and walking with us chatting about their experiences. It was my first experience of meeting a 'local' person and enjoying the idiosyncrasies of their accent and mannerisms. Especially words like "maundy" and "chip butty".
In Wiltshire we stayed in a lovely put in Ashbury where Fian enjoyed with passion tasting real ale again and had a great time chatting with the publican and some locals. Here we picked up the term "wiggly waggly" for a windy road.
Of course it was here where I finally got to see the physical site of the chalk horse which I have tattooed on my back - it is more than just a tattoo to me, it is intimately tied to my spirituality. So this was an amazing spiritual experience for me. Again however we met a lovely lady who chatted to us about her thumb stick given to her by her cousin in South Africa.
Our experience in Glastonbury has resulted in four new friends who we intend to remain in close (email and internet) contact as well as two additional offers of accommodation in Cardiff should we require it. The level of generosity and the lovely connections we've experienced have endeared this place to me to a level that has quite surprised me.
Which leads me to Cardiff - we arrived into the warm embrace of Elle last night and even this morning I am still overwhelmed by the warmth and generosity of spirit that has taken us in. I feel so fortunate and blessed to have the opportunity to make such beautiful friends. It more than makes up for the pain and lonliness that I have experienced recently with the circle of women back at home who have taken it upon themselves to play judge, jury and executioner.
Even now, Elle and Fian are sitting on a couch in the same room as me and we are all chatting about just how amazing it is that we are able to sit together and discuss life, movies, books and of course dominance and submission. To be able to be ourselves and open to each other in a safe, warm and loving environment.
Promise I'll tell all about our other 'experiences' while we've been here - that will be the next post. By way of a little teaser - have a look on Google images for 'Chalice Hill' in Glastonbury. Then imagine the full moon, Fian and me - and let your imagination run wild!!!!! *deep sigh and a secret smile to myself at the memory of that night*
We have now travelled from Birmingham, through the gloriously picturesque English countryside in Whiltshire, into Salisbury to visit megalithic monuments and incredible sites of historic significance, down to Somerset to immerse ourselves in an area where the inner unseen world seems to cross over into our physical reality. With all of our experiences both physical and spiritual and the amazing sights that we have seen, what is it that we are talking about the most? The people we have met and the connections we have made.
First in Birmingham with a really lovely couple who indulged Fian in his desire to go narrow boating by showing us through their boat on the canal and walking with us chatting about their experiences. It was my first experience of meeting a 'local' person and enjoying the idiosyncrasies of their accent and mannerisms. Especially words like "maundy" and "chip butty".
In Wiltshire we stayed in a lovely put in Ashbury where Fian enjoyed with passion tasting real ale again and had a great time chatting with the publican and some locals. Here we picked up the term "wiggly waggly" for a windy road.
Of course it was here where I finally got to see the physical site of the chalk horse which I have tattooed on my back - it is more than just a tattoo to me, it is intimately tied to my spirituality. So this was an amazing spiritual experience for me. Again however we met a lovely lady who chatted to us about her thumb stick given to her by her cousin in South Africa.
Our experience in Glastonbury has resulted in four new friends who we intend to remain in close (email and internet) contact as well as two additional offers of accommodation in Cardiff should we require it. The level of generosity and the lovely connections we've experienced have endeared this place to me to a level that has quite surprised me.
Which leads me to Cardiff - we arrived into the warm embrace of Elle last night and even this morning I am still overwhelmed by the warmth and generosity of spirit that has taken us in. I feel so fortunate and blessed to have the opportunity to make such beautiful friends. It more than makes up for the pain and lonliness that I have experienced recently with the circle of women back at home who have taken it upon themselves to play judge, jury and executioner.
Even now, Elle and Fian are sitting on a couch in the same room as me and we are all chatting about just how amazing it is that we are able to sit together and discuss life, movies, books and of course dominance and submission. To be able to be ourselves and open to each other in a safe, warm and loving environment.
Promise I'll tell all about our other 'experiences' while we've been here - that will be the next post. By way of a little teaser - have a look on Google images for 'Chalice Hill' in Glastonbury. Then imagine the full moon, Fian and me - and let your imagination run wild!!!!! *deep sigh and a secret smile to myself at the memory of that night*
Monday, May 08, 2006
Birmingham, Birmingham I Hear You Calling Me
Rain, Rain, Rain and then some more rain. But has it dampened my over the top enthusiasm for life today??.....I want to shout an enthusiastic NO but I guess dear ones that I have to stick with my pledge to be honest in all my dealings (I have had enough lies in the past couple of years to last me a lifetime - and yes, I am as guilty of telling lies as I am of tolerating lies being told to me.) The rain has slightly dampened my spirits, but by way of compensation I have dressed up. Something I may not have mentioned before on this blog is that I am a girly-girl. I love pink, pretty things and looking good. So in honour of my pledge to try to always look my best when I am out in the big wide world (and doesn't being on the other side of the world qualify unequivally!!!) I am in a flippy skirt, pretty pink twin set and my favourite hat and gloves. Yup and outfit that would drive Fian's ex nuts. In her opinion I shouldn't wear pretty things because I am not a "perfect size 8". I say Bleeeccchhhh to that.
Well I am on a public internet computer in Birmingham Library so I can't go into the details of our attempt at entry into the esteemed Mile High Club however be it known that we have probably qualilfied for associate membership....
Today I am walking around the city and following some walking trails on a brochure - that and going to look at beautiful art in the gallery and then, yup a littly nanny nap cause I'm still really tired. Mind you, being awake at 1am has it's advantages.... *winks and reminds herself that the details are not appropriate for a public library internet access*!!!!!
Well I am on a public internet computer in Birmingham Library so I can't go into the details of our attempt at entry into the esteemed Mile High Club however be it known that we have probably qualilfied for associate membership....
Today I am walking around the city and following some walking trails on a brochure - that and going to look at beautiful art in the gallery and then, yup a littly nanny nap cause I'm still really tired. Mind you, being awake at 1am has it's advantages.... *winks and reminds herself that the details are not appropriate for a public library internet access*!!!!!
Sunday, May 07, 2006
One third of the way there!
Well here I am in Singapore on a 40 minute stopover and what do I do? Run across 6 travelators, past several dozen guards and then *loud orchestral music and angelic voices* ...Free Internet!!! Update my blog quick.
Trip so far is going well. Local time Singapore 1.30am, time at home in Oz 3.30am - still a huge smile on my face! Fian is here by my side - so all is well with the world.
I have remembered something very important whilst journalling on the way. If you want forgiveness from others, you need to own your actions then forgive yourself first. People's reactions after that (if you have then done what is right) are their responsibility not yours.
So, middle of the night, but hopefully I am making sense.
Next stop Dubai. I wonder if they will have free internet too????
*hugs to everyone* !
Trip so far is going well. Local time Singapore 1.30am, time at home in Oz 3.30am - still a huge smile on my face! Fian is here by my side - so all is well with the world.
I have remembered something very important whilst journalling on the way. If you want forgiveness from others, you need to own your actions then forgive yourself first. People's reactions after that (if you have then done what is right) are their responsibility not yours.
So, middle of the night, but hopefully I am making sense.
Next stop Dubai. I wonder if they will have free internet too????
*hugs to everyone* !
Saturday, May 06, 2006
Leaving on a jet plane
Today is the day that Fian and I board a plane and fly across to the other side of the world. You should see the look on my kids’ faces when I say that!!! The thought of it is actually too hard for them to comprehend fully and I think, in part it’s the same for me. It's been a busy and somewhat stressful week, but one where I have really clarified some thoughts and made some relatively huge life decisions.
Now I'm ready to have an amazing holiday.
It's funny, because we are only away for a couple of weeks, I have been talking down the trip to people. Comments like, "Oh you know, it's just a couple of weeks" and "Yeah, I guess I'll have a good time" or "Yeah, I'm going with a friend - it'll be nice".
I'm not sure if it is guilt (over the whole ex wife/ex husband thing) or guilt because I put myself first. To tell you the truth, I think it is the latter. I find it so hard to feel comfortable about doing this – especially with Fian’s ex having an absolute hissy fit over the fact that we are going and my ex being so totally negative and rude about me actually putting myself first. It has affected a lot of areas of our relationship – until yesterday when Fian and I talked through a lot of the areas where I was feeling guilty and we went through a process to clear the blocks that the guilt had caused. One brilliant side effect was that I had a beautiful whole body orgasm whilst fucking with Fian for the first time in ages.
So yesterday I was talking with a mum at school who is going to Europe for 6 months with her husband and kids. She's been planning it for 2 years! This woman told me that she thinks it's amazing that I just decided a month or so ago that I was going and Boom – it happens. I went to put myself and the holiday down but then decided to buy into her enthusiasm. Suddenly I realized how fantastic this opportunity is and how much of a big deal it is to decide to fly to the other side of the world for a two week vacation just so that I don’t have to be apart from the Man that I love more than any other.
Yup,that was the catalyst for this trip. Fian had a trip planned to attend a big convention in the UK for work. He mentioned the trip to me and that he would be away for two weeks. We both were excited about his trip, but TWO whole weeks? (Consider this in the light of the fact that my ex husband would regularly announce that he could be leaving for 3 or 4 months and I would barely blink and eye except to think about how tired I would get with my three babies. I had three kids in two years)).
Fian said to me “Gee, how cool would it be if you could come too?”
I looked at him, he looked at me and suddenly I realized that really, there wasn’t anything stopping me from going too. “Why don’t I?” I said. We looked at each other some more and then the decision was made. I was going to the UK with Fian to accompany him on his work trip, have a holiday and see some places that we had talked about seeing one day. Done. Decision made.
Lots of work, some sacrifices and a disconnected mobile phone later (yup, the bill got kind of forgotten in the excitement…) I had a ticket booked on the same flight, a newly renewed passport and my wonderful mum and dad had agreed to drive 12 hours to come and look after my kids for my week of the two week period. *draws in a huge breath after such a long sentence*
So, with that bit of background let’s get back to the guilt thing and my decisions in the past week.
I have found a respect this week for that part of me which is so often criticized - the impulsive, always ready and willing for adventure side of me. In recent months some people (people who's opinion of me I really shouldn't listen to) have called me willful and impetuous. I took it as an insult when really - I AM full of will. A will to live, a will to have an amazing life and to give myself and my Man and my kids the best of all things. I am a strong and capable Woman (I am not buying into the negative talk at me or about me by the Ex factor). I am beautiful (although not a size 8 model waif) and I am in love with a Man who I want to be with for the rest of this life and any others if that is what comes my way.
It’s time to go now – we are driving to the airport, flying across to the other side of the world and taking yet another leap of faith with each other – and I know that it is going to be fantastic and thrilling.
Hopefully I’ll blog while I’m away – I’m sure that there will be a kind person over there who’ll let me log on from their computer. *winks at Elle*
Now I'm ready to have an amazing holiday.
It's funny, because we are only away for a couple of weeks, I have been talking down the trip to people. Comments like, "Oh you know, it's just a couple of weeks" and "Yeah, I guess I'll have a good time" or "Yeah, I'm going with a friend - it'll be nice".
I'm not sure if it is guilt (over the whole ex wife/ex husband thing) or guilt because I put myself first. To tell you the truth, I think it is the latter. I find it so hard to feel comfortable about doing this – especially with Fian’s ex having an absolute hissy fit over the fact that we are going and my ex being so totally negative and rude about me actually putting myself first. It has affected a lot of areas of our relationship – until yesterday when Fian and I talked through a lot of the areas where I was feeling guilty and we went through a process to clear the blocks that the guilt had caused. One brilliant side effect was that I had a beautiful whole body orgasm whilst fucking with Fian for the first time in ages.
So yesterday I was talking with a mum at school who is going to Europe for 6 months with her husband and kids. She's been planning it for 2 years! This woman told me that she thinks it's amazing that I just decided a month or so ago that I was going and Boom – it happens. I went to put myself and the holiday down but then decided to buy into her enthusiasm. Suddenly I realized how fantastic this opportunity is and how much of a big deal it is to decide to fly to the other side of the world for a two week vacation just so that I don’t have to be apart from the Man that I love more than any other.
Yup,that was the catalyst for this trip. Fian had a trip planned to attend a big convention in the UK for work. He mentioned the trip to me and that he would be away for two weeks. We both were excited about his trip, but TWO whole weeks? (Consider this in the light of the fact that my ex husband would regularly announce that he could be leaving for 3 or 4 months and I would barely blink and eye except to think about how tired I would get with my three babies. I had three kids in two years)).
Fian said to me “Gee, how cool would it be if you could come too?”
I looked at him, he looked at me and suddenly I realized that really, there wasn’t anything stopping me from going too. “Why don’t I?” I said. We looked at each other some more and then the decision was made. I was going to the UK with Fian to accompany him on his work trip, have a holiday and see some places that we had talked about seeing one day. Done. Decision made.
Lots of work, some sacrifices and a disconnected mobile phone later (yup, the bill got kind of forgotten in the excitement…) I had a ticket booked on the same flight, a newly renewed passport and my wonderful mum and dad had agreed to drive 12 hours to come and look after my kids for my week of the two week period. *draws in a huge breath after such a long sentence*
So, with that bit of background let’s get back to the guilt thing and my decisions in the past week.
I have found a respect this week for that part of me which is so often criticized - the impulsive, always ready and willing for adventure side of me. In recent months some people (people who's opinion of me I really shouldn't listen to) have called me willful and impetuous. I took it as an insult when really - I AM full of will. A will to live, a will to have an amazing life and to give myself and my Man and my kids the best of all things. I am a strong and capable Woman (I am not buying into the negative talk at me or about me by the Ex factor). I am beautiful (although not a size 8 model waif) and I am in love with a Man who I want to be with for the rest of this life and any others if that is what comes my way.
It’s time to go now – we are driving to the airport, flying across to the other side of the world and taking yet another leap of faith with each other – and I know that it is going to be fantastic and thrilling.
Hopefully I’ll blog while I’m away – I’m sure that there will be a kind person over there who’ll let me log on from their computer. *winks at Elle*
Thursday, May 04, 2006
So kiss me and smile for me...
I just read that on Fian's blog that it's about 40 hours until we jet off on our holiday - Hang on, did I just say "read that on Fian's blog"? Yes, Fian has updated his blog!!! Take the link to My Man Fian on the side bar.
I'm stressed, excited, nervous and ...Fian wants me to write horny. Well, you can't blame a Man for trying can you!!!
Have you ever noticed how difficult it is to write when there is someone reading over your shoulder? (oh, now He's pointing out the fact that He's not reading over my shoulder!) So to set the facts straight He's squinting over the back of the couch AND He just slapped my ass.
I am having incredible difficulty in concentrating at the moment. Things have a habit of being left half done. (Again with the over the couch comments - apparently it would be a lot funnier if I had have written that I am having incredible difficulty consecrating at the moment!) (Actually now I come to think about it, it does sound kinda funny - in an odd Buffy the Vampire Slayeresque kind of way)
So some things I have tried to do tonight but seem to be left incomplete.
Sorting clothes to pack - they made it onto the bed - now they have all been shoved onto the floor!
Using my natty little new "intimate area shaver" - yup, you guessed it - one side smooth, the other rather prickly!
Paying attention to Fian - I tried when I got home from a meeting at school - he was busy updating His blog {Did I mention that FIAN HAS UPDATED HIS BLOG!!!!} - anyway so I couldn't cover Him with kisses. He is now ready for attention and what am I doing??????
Of course the answer is - I am finishing this blog now and going to bed with my Man.
I'm stressed, excited, nervous and ...Fian wants me to write horny. Well, you can't blame a Man for trying can you!!!
Have you ever noticed how difficult it is to write when there is someone reading over your shoulder? (oh, now He's pointing out the fact that He's not reading over my shoulder!) So to set the facts straight He's squinting over the back of the couch AND He just slapped my ass.
I am having incredible difficulty in concentrating at the moment. Things have a habit of being left half done. (Again with the over the couch comments - apparently it would be a lot funnier if I had have written that I am having incredible difficulty consecrating at the moment!) (Actually now I come to think about it, it does sound kinda funny - in an odd Buffy the Vampire Slayeresque kind of way)
So some things I have tried to do tonight but seem to be left incomplete.
Sorting clothes to pack - they made it onto the bed - now they have all been shoved onto the floor!
Using my natty little new "intimate area shaver" - yup, you guessed it - one side smooth, the other rather prickly!
Paying attention to Fian - I tried when I got home from a meeting at school - he was busy updating His blog {Did I mention that FIAN HAS UPDATED HIS BLOG!!!!} - anyway so I couldn't cover Him with kisses. He is now ready for attention and what am I doing??????
Of course the answer is - I am finishing this blog now and going to bed with my Man.
