Sunday, October 22, 2006
About a Man
Today I found myself at a training session (it’s Sunday) with a group of wonderful women sharing learning and companionship. While I found myself there, Fian found himself at home with 5 kids of various ages, all in various stages of settling into the new house and all with various needs.
What a Man! This is one of the sexiest aspects of Fian – He can take control of all or our kids, play games with them, discipline them and hand out hugs and kisses to all that need them. It is so Manly! I know, it’s not what people usually think of when thinking of sexy attributes, but hey, I have learnt not to live by other people’s rules (except of course Fian’s!)
What else can I tell you about Him? That when I catch sight of Him walking into or out of the room I still get butterflies? That the curve of his arse in blue jeans and the gorgeous lines of his back and shoulders in a white t-shirt make my tummy do flip flops and send shivers down my spine? That my favourite time of the day is when he undresses and I get to savour the sheer delight of him? Of course there is the way He turns and I see a particular look on His face that says I am going to have some ‘tasks’ to do – oh my. You know, I just realized I have told you very little about Fian and a lot about me and how I work!! Oh well.
You know, I intend to feel this way for the rest of my life. I know that life does change and our life will always have variables that we cannot control but throughout all of this I will love Him, honour Him and obey Him.
What a Man! This is one of the sexiest aspects of Fian – He can take control of all or our kids, play games with them, discipline them and hand out hugs and kisses to all that need them. It is so Manly! I know, it’s not what people usually think of when thinking of sexy attributes, but hey, I have learnt not to live by other people’s rules (except of course Fian’s!)
What else can I tell you about Him? That when I catch sight of Him walking into or out of the room I still get butterflies? That the curve of his arse in blue jeans and the gorgeous lines of his back and shoulders in a white t-shirt make my tummy do flip flops and send shivers down my spine? That my favourite time of the day is when he undresses and I get to savour the sheer delight of him? Of course there is the way He turns and I see a particular look on His face that says I am going to have some ‘tasks’ to do – oh my. You know, I just realized I have told you very little about Fian and a lot about me and how I work!! Oh well.
You know, I intend to feel this way for the rest of my life. I know that life does change and our life will always have variables that we cannot control but throughout all of this I will love Him, honour Him and obey Him.
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Submission as an antidote for poison
Have you ever sat back from a group of people and watched what takes place? Because I am basically on the fringe of a group of people that I have association with I have the privilege of being able to watch and learn as this group goes through its existence.
This group seemed to be a relatively harmonious crowd on first viewing, all existing within a small community based around a mutual interest. As I learnt more about the personalities of the people in the group I realized more and more that the harmony may have been based either on fear or intense peacekeeping activity. Soon I noticed little cliques based around looks, money or the level or purity to which the people in the clique considered themselves in regards to the particular interest of this community. What was far more disturbing than the cliques were the people who seemed to move amongst the various groups, cliques and then individuals creating disharmony.
Some communities have radicals. Those people who are so passionately committed to a particular cause or belief that they will move amongst a community either encouraging others to join them in their belief or encouraging dissent against the current popular regime or common belief. Radicals, although thorns in the side for many are not as harmful as the type of individuals that I witnessed in this community – the Poisoner.
Some people are poisonous. They are so damaged emotionally or psychologically from events in their life, their interactions with people, whilst seemingly benign, slowly and systematically get into the bloodstream of the group and poison the energy and life. Before you know it, there are cracks appearing in otherwise previously strong friendships. Gossip has generally begun to spread and soon anger and ill feeling is at the centre of the group energy and gangrene has taken over anyone on the extremities.
If by some unfortunate circumstance an individual either stands up to or inadvertently steps on the poisonous toes then they will end up squarely in the sights of the poison arrow. Small disagreements are blown completely out of proportion and then moving throughout the community the poisonous person ensures that one and only one side of the story is told…theirs.
Often playing the victim, poisonous people blame everyone else for their problems. In fact, not only do they blame others, but they feel the need to ensure that as many other people as possible also share their belief. Once someone has been allocated blame or guilt, the campaign begins in earnest. Regardless of what the offence or whether someone is guilty or not the word will be spread in a vicious game of Chinese whispers that the “poor Poisoner” has is so hard and it’s all “insert name of victim’s” fault. Often punctuated by crying, sighs, earnest conversations ending in endless sympathetic cups of tea and yet another fallen victim to add to the list of the poisoned.
This is not to say that the victim is ever blameless, but if, they in fact have done an injury to the Poisoner, their fate is even more securely sealed. Sealed with a poisonous kiss. Now, with concrete proof of their injury the poisonous one will move swiftly throughout her previous company weeping a tear with each piece of evidence lain on the table. Their destruction will be complete, the pity they receive lavish and another victim will lie in agony dying a slow social death as the poison seeps through the energy systems of the group.
Is there any hope? How can an individual or group recover from such activity?
Restitution lies in the same path as for any action that harms another. If the victim did indeed cause the poisonous one some slight then they need to apologise and ask for forgiveness. Then if they have made a genuine apology and done their best to made amends, any action on the poisonous part is not theirs to own. Go on with their life, live as good life as possible, keep their nose clean and as much as possible remember the lesson so they never make another feel the way they have been made to feel. Wishy washy? Yeah probably, but retribution, revenge or ranting and raving are, as I have witnessed, painful, pitiful and pointless. Remember, the community opinion of you is already low – why affirm this point of view with poor behaviour.
So, that is today’s lesson on social politics – probably nothing to do with submission, but then again as you may have guessed, I was one of the Poisoner’s early targets and have sat back and watch the pattern repeat itself since my own horrible experience. What a lesson to go through but wow have I grown from it and in fact, learnt to turn to Fian as well throughout the episode. He knows what will help the most and His advice was invaluable through it all. Now, I know that I can turn to Him in any circumstance. So maybe this was about submission after all.
This group seemed to be a relatively harmonious crowd on first viewing, all existing within a small community based around a mutual interest. As I learnt more about the personalities of the people in the group I realized more and more that the harmony may have been based either on fear or intense peacekeeping activity. Soon I noticed little cliques based around looks, money or the level or purity to which the people in the clique considered themselves in regards to the particular interest of this community. What was far more disturbing than the cliques were the people who seemed to move amongst the various groups, cliques and then individuals creating disharmony.
Some communities have radicals. Those people who are so passionately committed to a particular cause or belief that they will move amongst a community either encouraging others to join them in their belief or encouraging dissent against the current popular regime or common belief. Radicals, although thorns in the side for many are not as harmful as the type of individuals that I witnessed in this community – the Poisoner.
Some people are poisonous. They are so damaged emotionally or psychologically from events in their life, their interactions with people, whilst seemingly benign, slowly and systematically get into the bloodstream of the group and poison the energy and life. Before you know it, there are cracks appearing in otherwise previously strong friendships. Gossip has generally begun to spread and soon anger and ill feeling is at the centre of the group energy and gangrene has taken over anyone on the extremities.
If by some unfortunate circumstance an individual either stands up to or inadvertently steps on the poisonous toes then they will end up squarely in the sights of the poison arrow. Small disagreements are blown completely out of proportion and then moving throughout the community the poisonous person ensures that one and only one side of the story is told…theirs.
Often playing the victim, poisonous people blame everyone else for their problems. In fact, not only do they blame others, but they feel the need to ensure that as many other people as possible also share their belief. Once someone has been allocated blame or guilt, the campaign begins in earnest. Regardless of what the offence or whether someone is guilty or not the word will be spread in a vicious game of Chinese whispers that the “poor Poisoner” has is so hard and it’s all “insert name of victim’s” fault. Often punctuated by crying, sighs, earnest conversations ending in endless sympathetic cups of tea and yet another fallen victim to add to the list of the poisoned.
This is not to say that the victim is ever blameless, but if, they in fact have done an injury to the Poisoner, their fate is even more securely sealed. Sealed with a poisonous kiss. Now, with concrete proof of their injury the poisonous one will move swiftly throughout her previous company weeping a tear with each piece of evidence lain on the table. Their destruction will be complete, the pity they receive lavish and another victim will lie in agony dying a slow social death as the poison seeps through the energy systems of the group.
Is there any hope? How can an individual or group recover from such activity?
Restitution lies in the same path as for any action that harms another. If the victim did indeed cause the poisonous one some slight then they need to apologise and ask for forgiveness. Then if they have made a genuine apology and done their best to made amends, any action on the poisonous part is not theirs to own. Go on with their life, live as good life as possible, keep their nose clean and as much as possible remember the lesson so they never make another feel the way they have been made to feel. Wishy washy? Yeah probably, but retribution, revenge or ranting and raving are, as I have witnessed, painful, pitiful and pointless. Remember, the community opinion of you is already low – why affirm this point of view with poor behaviour.
So, that is today’s lesson on social politics – probably nothing to do with submission, but then again as you may have guessed, I was one of the Poisoner’s early targets and have sat back and watch the pattern repeat itself since my own horrible experience. What a lesson to go through but wow have I grown from it and in fact, learnt to turn to Fian as well throughout the episode. He knows what will help the most and His advice was invaluable through it all. Now, I know that I can turn to Him in any circumstance. So maybe this was about submission after all.
